Dying..

I feel so tired, very very tried.
How I wish the time can stopped and let me take a breath.
I been getting giddy for no reason these few days. Totally in no mood of doing things. This never happen before.
Now I fear of getting illness. It is a trend for my family getting high blood pressure. My grandma die of heart attack due to high blood, my eldest uncle die of heart diseases. My dad, my uncle, my brother also have high blood pressure. You all didn't realize why my cheeks always red, not because of sun tanning, because of high blood. I really fear of the worst.
All part of my body is like a crush car, engine still can work, but the spare part going old and shatter. My knee, my collar bone, my arm, seriously need a new one.
I totally have no mood in everything. I don't feel like going school, don't feel like training, don't feel like seeing people and don't even feel like talking. My brain is functioning so slow that I can easily forget anyone. What really happen to me. I feel so dead.
I really need a shoulder to lean and a person stroking my head. I can't take it. Can't take it anymore.